Man kan faktiskt utöka sitt engelska ordförråd samtidigt som man skrattar! Och skrattar man inte åt skämten kan man ändå lära sig mycket engelska genom att försöka förstå vad det är som ska vara så roligt!
- What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look, I'm changing.
- How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
- Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word 'analyse' in it.
Pupil: My sister Anna lies in bed until nine o'clock.
- Who was the first underwater spy?
James Pond.
- What has webbed feet and fangs?
Count Quackula.
- What dog smells of onions?
A hot dog.
7. What goes zzub zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
- Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water?
He had two sons, so he called them Hot and Cold.
- Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
It ran out of juice.
- What type of fish performs surgical operations?
A sturgeon.
- Q: What did they award the man that invented the doorknocker?
A: The No-bell Prize.
- Did you hear about the robbers who fell in the sea?
They started a crime wave.
- What do you call a Roman emperor with flu?
Julius Sneezer.
- What do you call a poster advertising the last teddy for sale?
A one ted poster.
- What do you get if you cross a cow with a grass cutter?
A lawn mooer.
- Q: What do you call a box of ducklings?
A: A box of quackers.
- Q: What is bright orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot.
- Q. What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters?
A. Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
- What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog?
One wears a suit, and the other just pants.
- What's the hardest key to turn?
A donkey.
- What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
- Did you hear about the cement truck that crashed into the prison bus?
They ended up with a bunch of hardened criminals.
- How does Batman's wife call him for dinner?
Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner - Batman!
- What is the most popular sentence at school?
I don't know.
- There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. They went to a funfair and they all wanted to go on a magic slide. So when they got there, the man said, ”Whatever you say going down the slide you will land in”. So the Englishman went down and said ”Gold”. Then the Scottish man went down and said ”Silver”. Finally the Irish man went down but had not been listening so he went down and said, ”Weeeeeeee” and landed in a pot of wee! Ha ha ha!
- My old Dad told me, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad.
Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Colin."
- How does a male octopus ask a female octopus to marry him?
A: Can I have your hand, your hand, your hand, your hand …
- My sister got me into trouble the other day.
She said, Mum, he's broken my dolly.'
My mum said, 'How did that happen?'
My sister said, 'Well I was hitting him on the head with it, and it broke.'
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